


Secrets

by Corbella0417



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, comforting!cas, dean is scared, intervention time, lots of love for Dean, sad!dean, sex at the end, some angst some fluff and a little bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3290435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corbella0417/pseuds/Corbella0417
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is finally happy...he's in love. But his fear of being hated for being gay becomes too much and he has to walk away. Sometimes it's better to just let it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no Beta so any mistakes are my own.

Dean sat up in the bed and ran a hand through his hair with a sad sigh. They did it again, they said they wouldn’t but…here they were. 

Looking over his shoulder at Cas he saw him sleeping peacefully. It made cutting all of this off so much harder. He was happy with him. He felt good. The sex was great and the cuddles after were wonderful. He didn’t want to lose this. 

But the risk of losing his family was too much. 

Sam, Bobby, and Ellen never really showed much interest when it came to gay or straight relationships. Neither had Jo. But the way they acted, their backgrounds…it made him worry. 

Cas meant a lot to him but he couldn’t lose his family over this. 

He stood quietly and got dressed, trying to ignore the pain in his heart at the idea of leaving. 

Cas stirred, eyes opening with a smile that turned to confusion. “Where are you going? I thought Sam didn’t need you until later.” 

Dean froze in place with his back to Cas. How did he tell him it was over? 

“Cas,” he said sadly as he turned around. “I need to talk to you.” 

The whole time Dean spoke he could see Cas getting angrier. Cas knew he was finally happy and it pissed him off that Dean would walk away from that. 

“I don’t have a choice Cas! If they find out about… Sam’s my brother. Bobby, he practically raised us Cas.” 

The Angel stepped forward, gripping his shoulders tightly. “Exactly! They are your family. Which is why it makes no sense for them to hate you. Dean, they love you.” 

Dean scoffed, “For now. You don’t how this works Cas, you’ve never seen it.” Dean sat on the bed defeated, his head in his hands. 

Cas followed and sat next to him, placing a gentle hand on his back. “What do you mean?” 

Dean sighed and knew he had to tell him, make him understand why he had to back away. But he couldn’t bring himself to look at him. 

“I met a guy when I was younger, back in high school. Dad had found a case in Virginia, told us it would take a couple weeks at most. I hated it there. The town, the people….then I met him. And for once I didn’t actually hate it there. I wanted to stay. I wanted to leave the life, go to school and be with him. Until my Dad found out. He went after him, told his family about us and what we were doing.” 

Cas sat silent as Dean spoke. He could hear the pain in his voice and he knew how much this had hurt Dean. 

“I watched him get thrown out. His entire family disowned him because of me. When I tried to talk to him he pushed me away, told me it was my fault. And he was right…it was my fault. When I got home my Dad pinned me to the wall. He told me if he caught me with another guy I’d get worse. So I stayed away from them and went out with whatever girl looked my way. I just wanted him to forget.” 

Cas waited until Dean was finished speaking before he moved. He sat in front of Dean on the floor and laid his hands on his thighs gently. “Dean, that was your father’s problem. That was his hate. But Sam isn’t like John and neither is Bobby. Dean you have to know that they love you more than that. No matter what…” 

Dean looked at Cas with tired and sad eyes, conflicting emotions flicking behind the green. He wanted Cas because he for once he was happy. He felt loved. But he was also afraid. And that fear was just too strong. 

Gently he pulled Cas away and stood up, grabbing his jacket as he walked slowly to the door. He could bring himself to look at Cas, to see the hurt on his face. “I’m sorry Cas, but we’re done. This can’t and won’t happen again.” 

The door shut quietly and Cas stayed where he was. He heard the Impala start but he couldn’t seem to move, he just listened to the fading sound of the engine as Dean drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas showed up at Bobby’s shortly after Dean did. He wanted to talk to the hunter and make him understand. He was sure that Bobby, Sam and the others would still love him. How could they not? But after all his time watching people he knew how cruel they could be and he couldn’t blame Dean for being afraid. 

But that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

Dean acted like his usual self for the most part while he was around the others. He talked, he laughed, he joked, but the smile never seemed to reach his eyes. 

But when it was just the two of them Dean showed how he really felt. He didn’t need to speak to Cas for the Angel to know. It was in his body language and the way his eyes looked dimmer than usual. 

Dean didn’t want this and both of them knew that. 

Eventually the others picked up on the fact that something was wrong. They could see it just by watching the two of them. Finally Sam had had enough and he cornered Cas, backing him into the kitchen while the others dragged Dean outside. 

“What’s going on with you two?” Sam asked with concern. 

Cas shrugged and pretended not to know. “Nothing…” 

“Don’t lie Cas, you suck at it.” 

“I do not!” Cas said indignantly. At Sam’s bitchface he sighed and leaned against the counter. Looking at the floor he decided to tell him. “You would forgive Dean anything right? Well, not that this needs forgiving but to some people- -” 

“Cas, get to the point.” 

“What I mean is… You love Dean, right?” 

Sam looked at him confused but nodded his head. “Yeah, of course.” 

Cas looked up at him and searched his face. “And you wouldn’t disown him if he… If we…” 

Sam took a step back and tried to figure out what Cas was trying to ask him. He thought he understood though. 

“You mean…if you two were together?” 

“…Yes.” 

“Cas, I didn’t really think it was a secret.” Sam laughed as he walked over to sit at the dining room table. 

Cas followed with surprise clear on his face. “What do you mean? We haven’t told anyone.” 

“You didn’t need to. Cas, you guys look like you’re stripping each other every time you make eye contact. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. Plus the hickeys…” 

At that Cas blushed, knowing that more than once Dean had walked away from their meetings with quite a few. 

“What’s going on Cas?” 

Cas told him everything Dean had told him back at the motel. He needed Sam to understand and help him. Dean needed this and both of them agreed on that. 

One by one they pulled the other hunters back into the house for one reason or another, leaving Dean alone as he laid in the backseat of the impala. Together they explained the situation and Cas was pleased to know he was right. All of them were cool with it. 

They wanted Dean to be happy and if Cas could give him that then great. 

With a plan set in mind Sam headed outside to get his brother. It was time for an intervention.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean laid in the backseat of the car and tried to make himself relax. He was doing everything he could to act normal but his mind and his heart were fighting. When Cas wasn’t there he was okay, he could hide his pain and laugh with the others. 

But every time he looked at Cas he felt like he would break apart, like one look from the Angel could shatter him. 

All he wants is to pull Cas into his arms and kiss him until he can’t see straight. But he can’t now. He ended it with the Angel so now he has to deal with it. 

A hand gripping his foot makes him shoot up in surprise, his fingers wrapping around the knife he carried. 

“Hey hey…it’s just me!” Sam said in shock as he raised his hands. 

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled. “I didn’t hear you coming.” 

Sam backed up as Dean climbed out. “Yeah I noticed. You ok?” 

Dean nodded but couldn’t keep the eye contact. “I’m fine.” 

In reality he wasn’t and he knew that. Losing Cas was harder than he thought it would be and it was already taking its toll. 

“You sure? Cause you look like crap.” 

Dean gave him a bitchface but bit back his remark. “I’m fine.” 

Sam nodded but didn’t believe him for a second. “Ok good. Come on then, Bobby needs us inside.” 

As Sam walked off Dean followed. “What does he need us for?” 

Sam just shrugged and kept walking. 

When they got inside Dean froze in place. Everyone was looking at him and he could see a chair set up in the living room. 

“Dean,” Cas said as he stood. 

“What the hell is this?” Dean asked warily. 

“Dean please, just come sit down. We need to talk to you.” 

The hunter eyed Cas and the others with worry, not quite sure where this was going. But he did know it involved talking about feelings and he wanted no part of that. 

“I’m good thanks.” 

He reached for the door but the sound of wings behind him made him turn around and he was face to face with Cas again. “Let me out Cas.” 

The Angel shook his head. “Please Dean…just talk to them. They want to help you.” 

Dean scoffed and opened his mouth but shut it when he heard Bobby speak. He turned around to look at Bobby. 

“Listen here boy,” Bobby said angrily as he walked over to them. “We already know.” 

“You know?” Dean asked confused. 

“Yes we know. Cas already told us everything. About you, your dad and the boy…”

Dean was scared now. Bobby looked pissed and he was trapped between him and the door. “Look Bobby, I’m sorry. I- -” 

Bobby waved him off and Dean shut his mouth quickly. He didn’t think the old man would do it but he expected the hit. Though it never came. 

Instead he was gripped into a tight hug. “You idjit…” 

Dean laughed when Bobby did, grunting as everyone came over to hug him and Cas. They told him that as long as he was happy then so were they. 

Later that night Dean sat on the hood of his baby and watched the stars. He had a beer in one hand and Cas pressed against his side. He felt so much better now. His family was still in his corner and he had his Angel back. Things couldn’t be better.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean sighed happily as they finally walked back into their motel room. He had Cas back and his family still loved him. This day was going better than expected. 

Cas smiled at him as the got closer, pulling his hunter into a kiss. Dean sank into it, allowing Cas’ soft lips to take his thoughts away for a moment. When they finally separated he looked Cas in the eye, his face serious. 

“Cas I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you like that. I just…I let my fear get the better of me.” 

Dean sank down onto the bed and Cas followed, wrapping his arms around him. “Dean you don’t have to apologize.” 

“Yes I do Cas. I could have lost you…lost this.” 

“But you didn’t,” Cas said as he moved to straddle Dean’s hips. “I’m right here,” he said as he gripped Dean’s hands tight. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere…neither is your family. We love you too much to walk away from you.” 

Dean looked up at him and blinked away tears. God, how did he get so damn lucky? “I love you Cas.” 

The Angel smiled and pressed their foreheads together. “I love you too Dean.” 

Soft breaths soon turned to panting ones as Cas ground against him, making both men hard and needy. With a thought they were naked, Cas’ Grace taking their clothes off. 

Dean was surprised until a loud moan escaped him, his eyes closed as Cas rubbed harder. “Cas…ah…want you.” 

The kiss was heated, swallowing moans and pants as Dean lay back on the bed, his Angel above him. 

Cas wasted no time in prepping him, using his Grace to slick and stretch him open. Dean moaned at the feeling of his open hole, hips bucking up for contact. 

“Cas please…” 

Dean bucked up, rubbing their leaking cocks together to make Cas moan. The Angel smirked, using his Grace to keep a growling Dean pinned. 

“Hey that’s not fair!” Dean whined. 

Cas leaned down and nipped his ear. “I want you still.” Dean nearly came from his voice alone, small whimpers escaping his throat as Cas started to touch him. 

He stroked him with one hand, pulling and twisting in the perfect way to make Dean go crazy. When a thumb slid over the tip Dean cried out. “Cas please! I need you…fuck…I want you to fuck me!” 

Cas moved between his legs but leaned over to look him in the face. “You want me to fuck you? Want my dick inside you?” As he said that he tugged on Dean’s balls making the hunter cry louder. 

“Yes! Please!” 

Cas moved back down his body and lined up, loving the soft whimpers Dean made as he pressed against his hole. Dean tried to move, tried to sink down onto the head but Cas’ Grace held him down. He couldn’t stop his frustrated cry. 

Finally Cas took pity and pushed in, sinking into Dean’s tight channel until they were against each other. He was so hot and so tight that Cas was seeing stars. He wanted to pound into him, make Dean scream his name. But not this time. 

When Dean was ready he pulled out, leaving the tip in before sinking back in. Dean’s back arched and he moaned. Cas was thick and he felt so full. 

They made a rhythm as they moved, their hips slotting together perfectly. 

“Cas, oh fuck Cas, so good…” 

Soon they sped up, Dean calling Cas’ name. As Cas hit his prostate Dean came, squeezing around Cas to make him come as well. 

Both were sated and happy as they collapsed together, chests heaving to catch their breath. Dean looked at his Angel and green eyes met blue. He felt so happy, so lucky to have found someone as good and as caring as Cas. 

As they snuggled Cas cleaned them up with his Grace, pulling the covers over them as they drifted off into a sound sleep.


End file.
